REALITY #1/ #2

Sembreak was awesome. At least most of it was. I'm back behind an empty table ready to be stacked up with books, a shitload of paper, and whatnot. Reading the first few assignments for the 2nd semester is actually harder than it was in the 1st. Jeez, now I'm being kampante with my performance, and its not doing me well. fuuuUUUCK! I'm taking things easier now that I got through my 1st semester. I got a good grade in Criminal Law 1 which was the death-subject of the 1st semester. A skimpy 79. Fuck, never thought I'd be happy with a 79. Well, thats the kind of thinking you get when you're rank 4th in the class and the 1st 3 students before you got no grade higher than 80. Talk about academic freedom. Bitch. Whowudathunk?

For the life of me... I never expected anything less from Law School.

Now, for the blind item. *Im-with-stupid Language Mode*

I thought about what I've done, and I can really say now that I have no regrets about what I did. I couldn't have handled it any better. I mean, think about it, what were the other better options? I can see things are working out great both ways. I see now more possibilities and oppurtunities. So many other things to work on. Too many things to pay attention to. Too jared to remain focused on what I've given up. And I can only guess that Im not alone when I say these things. I don't feel sorry at all. In fact, I'd give myself a warm pat on the back if it were not for this shoulder strain. I know gained more than I lost. And even if there was something lost to speak of, I will find it again. Just not now. And if I ever DO fucking find it again but only to realize that it was not what I wanted all along, then I guess thats whats meant to be. I guess I was never meant to possess it. When I do find it again, and after all this time I still want it, I AM NEVER LETTING GO AGAIN.

And no matter how compatible and alike things could be, I wager my pride that its not friggin enough to hold a foundation together. However, I will always have it in my sights. But only til there. My mind is too occupied to bother about it. And I don't have the heart right now to cathect anything of value. I value nothing but my family (including my close friends) and my studies right now. I'm out to be a multi-millionaire, with passive hopes of saving the world from boredom. With dreams of funding schools in rural coastal areas, and putting up corporations, anti-telemarketing assault units, pro bono day-care centers, and a National Soccer League. But thats besides the point. I'm thinking of numero uno. If it is true when they say that what I risk reveals what I value...then it's it a risk that I let this go now. Only time can tell now.

Now back to nibbling on my midnight snack. Yey, Unagi and beer.