*September 24, 2004 HK/PHIL Time*

I haven’t slept for tens of hours now. I drove around AAVA the night before. Radiohead’s Paranoid Android was playing. It suddenly dawned upon my faulty realization that this was my last nightly drive around the village (in a long while/ever). I started getting teary eyed. I shut off the CD player, “get a grip on yourself you sissy”. Parking at Palico Residence at 230am.

…sporadic 5 minute naps.

I was awake at 4 am. I started listening to Slipknot just to wake me up. I was sooo sure it would help. I enjoyed this day like it was the last day I’d ever have. I saw Carlo off to school. He asked me how I wanted my shirt (“I am the Asian your mother warned you about”) Self-made eggs were in order. I kissed the kids off to school. Ean said he’d cut class and come over at 7am. I miss that kid. When he arrived he took me and Anton to Pancake House. Sweet. Got home and took Enzo (my German Shepherd) for a walk.

We split at roundabout 1030am when I accompanied my mom to shop a bit at south mall. We were supposed to meet pa for lunch later on but never did. But he did promise to play paintball with my friends, and my brother and I at Festi. I slept a bit at the car as my mom got her well awaited Quickly (eewww). I woke up and instantly departed from my mom and met Carlo at the Gotcha Paintball Arena at the top floor. Chris, Ton, Tin, Noy, Carlo, Ean, and My Dad comprised of the final line-up of the paintball challenge.

MY DAD IS A PAINTBALL GOD!!!

He never got hit. He killed like 5 people in 2 games. It’s so sad that I get to know these things ‘bout him just when I am about to leave. Maybe next time. We finish at about 530. I got home and played the drums. Packed a bit, then had dinner after which we prayed the rosary.

“I tried holding back the possibility of crying while we prayed the rosary. But when my eyes finally saw the unification of friends and family in a single venue for my farewell…my eyes simply melted.”

I had a goodbye party at home. I had a hard time managing it because I had not finished packing until 2am the next day. By the way, the party ended at ‘roundabout 3am, just in time for me to leave. I have a few words of advice from my parents, as well as important things to disclose to my possession. D7G prepared an ambush video for me. I got teary eyed for awhile. Then Carlo totally started most of the serious melodrama with his cover of Elton John’s Daniel.

And so 330am came ‘round. My bags packed and loaded (as well as my grandparents). They took the expedition. 3 other convoy cars assisted the journey to the airport. I rode with Noy, and Choy (his car). Ean later on transferred to my ride when we did a pit stop at Caltex. Midway to the airport, Bernice texted a just-in-case-we-don’t-have-time-together-message. I hate to admit it, but it was bordering sweet sorrow, however it didn’t make things any easier for me. By the time it was time for me to enter the check-in I was embarrassingly teary eyed, stripped of all my machismo. That less than what I can say about the other boys. Mon, Ton, Carlo, Ean, Chase, Noy, Chris, Tracy, Tin, Bernice, My parents, Selena and Francis were there. The boys, stripped of all inhibition gave way to my hugs and their words of hope. I wanted to hug my parents the last but my Dad (Thanks Pa) gave me the first goodbye. I started crying when I hugged Selena. Francis fell asleep on me. I hugged Bernice the last. That was right before Lolo started screaming my name. Like a tamed dog out of its cage, I wallowed helplessly between the automatic doors looking back at my friends and family only hoping to remember them the way they were around me, and not some sad memory full of goodbyes. Unfortunately not.